Appendix No. 5

February 8, 1931.                       MY LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT
I have few material possessions to leave for you. I wrote about that last year. I simply wanted to add this:
My loved ones!
I always thought that I would need to be among you until you would be older, have more experience, and everything would be regulated. However, now I think rather often that perhaps it will be quite different. It seems to me that my work is done. May my God be a gracious judge for me. With my hand on my heart I say to you and to God: all my work and efforts have been for the one purpose—to provide for you, my loved ones, in every possible way, material and spiritual. Perhaps I was overly concerned about this; perhaps God didn’t need me as much as I always thought he did.
I am at the end of my life. My dear children, once more I would like to say: „Love each other, the way I have loved you.“
„Honor your mother.“ If you do this, it will go well for you. Love her and obey her, even in the smallest things. It is the only way for you to overcome, to endure; otherwise you will all perish. May God protect and spare you from that.
For every act of kindness, however small, I thank you once more and may the Lord reward you. However, everything that now depresses you and that you would wish undone, may the Lord forgive you, as I have forgiven each one of you with all my heart. You can make good to your mother whatever you failed to do to me; this is the last opportunity which the Lord gives you. I am tired, so very tired of life. May God be merciful to me. I attempted to be a Christian and yet failed so often. You, my Lord, know everything, you know that I loved you, even if it was in much weakness.
And you, my dearly beloved and faithful wife, let me thank you once more for all your love. Just now I pulled two verses for you: 1) „He heals the brokenhearted, and binds up their wounds,“ (Ps.147:3) and 2) „Let all that you do be done in love“ (I.Cor. 16:14); and see how the Lord will heal your big sorrow. More than ever before the word for you is: „Be strong!“ And the Lord can be strong in the weak; in you, too, and give you strength to raise our dear, dear, children in the fear and admonition of the Lord, so that not one will be lost. Also in economic and practical matters the Lord can give you wisdom so that together with the children, but in the first place YOU alone, can manage the affairs. The children are so young, oh that in all things they would come to you for counsel.
And now I want ask you for something for the last time, something in which you did not always understand me: „Take care of yourself!“ When you are physically exhausted you cannot be to our poor half-orphans that which you should be, either spiritually or mentally, which is your foremost and holy duty.
Let everything you all do be done in love, then the blessing of God will rest upon you.
And one more thing, my dearly beloved. If among them you still feel lonely, and if troubles come and the load gets heavy, remember: „The Lord is your comfort and only help.“ Stay close, real close to him, and the hour will come for you, too, when you will rejoice and say: Oh how glorious it will be when we are all reunited with the ones we have loved.
April 19, 1933. Two more years of grace. God only knows how many more. What he does is right. His holy will be done.
/s/ J.J. Dyck